13 Things You Should Do To Feel Better Right Now

The state of the world might have you down, but don’t have to let it steal your happy moments. If you need a distraction, here are some ways to do so:

Warning: This is for someone with a sense of humor.

Take a step outside into the sunlight, but only long enough to twinkle and not burn. The sunlight is restorative unless you’re vampire, in which case, please wait until the moon is high.

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Finally, pick something from that to-do list to accomplish, a small something. Then reward yourself with tea and cookies. Not into tea? Have a brutally blonde cup of coffee and spin like a top for a few hours. You’ll get a lot more done.

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Be mindful, sit in silence, and reflect upon the day. Don’t worry about work, family, or our impending doom…well damn, I knew this one was silly, now I am sure the world is coming to an end…I know, breathe and think happy thoughts…cats, rainbows, ice cream, the noise turtles make when they’re getting busy…. Ah, okay, maybe go to the next one.

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No, not an all-day snooze. Just fifteen minutes to an hour for optimal dreams. Dreams of sailing the seven seas as a pirate captain or simply being the queen of your domain for once. Those are high-pressure jobs… even in my dreams, I can’t take it easy. So, don’t listen to me, just dream about whatever you want: puppies, Korean pop music, sitar playing naked men or whatever you ordinary people like.

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Listen to music — something with a rhythmic beat and heavy bass like a RuPaul song or any other gay anthem. Us gays really love a good rhythm.

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Vent to an imaginary friend via phone or text, but ask their permission first. Start the message, “Dear Friend, I’m having a tough day and need to vent.” Then they’ll reply, “Sure, I can’t wait.” And you’ll let them have it, really make them cry. Imaginary friends can take on anything.

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Write down your feelings. I would say to write in a journal, but there are some thoughts that no one should read. So, get a piece of paper and just start writing. Cuss, scream and spit if you have to, but on a piece of paper. Then burn it.

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If you’re moved by art, perhaps visit a virtual museum. Stare at a piece of art for so long that your computer puts itself to sleep.

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Color in a coloring book. If you don’t have one, go to Google Image Search and search for your favorite characters, but at the words “coloring pages” to the end. You can print an have a blast. Act like you’re a toddler again — color outside the lines. Hell, if you are sans printer, just color a piece of paper randomly. You could be the next Picasso.

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Got a pet? Spoil it with attention. If you don’t have a pet, adopt one then spoil it. If you can’t adopt one, get a stuffed animal, and pretend like you have one. If you don’t have a stuffed animal, then what is wrong with you?! Who hurt you?!

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It is time to workout. No not your normal routine. Did you get this far in the list and assume I’d suggest something normal? Nope. It is time to do some silly walking around your home or neighborhood if you’re brave enough. If you haven’t broken a sweat you aren’t walking silly enough.

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Eat healthily. Don’t eat chocolate and snacks because you’re bored. Eat them because you are sad. Don’t eat them all at once because you’ll be sad for a while yet.

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Live with someone? Try pushing all their buttons. Sing off-key or sing the wrong words to a song. Leave small things in the wrong place. Do they keep their headphones in one place, move them seven inches away. When they notice what you’re doing, own it and tell them how much you love them.

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I dug archaeology, taught technology, and found myself in real estate, but don’t worry. I still write, draw, swear, and drink coffee.

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